Entries excess
The new (&) with a little of Basquiat
Saturday, May 23, 2009
okay,lets take a breather.
okay,lets take a breather.
Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room... my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection.My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML
Today, my mom : "You and your dad like all the same foods right? Try this for me", she then proceeds to give me a strawberry flavored jelly. I say that it tastes good and ask what she gave me. "It's my new nipple cream, I want to surprise your dad tonight." FML
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were about to have sex. Just as things were heating up, my closet door flew open and my little brother ran out screaming, "Mom, they're doing it, come quick!" My mom paid my 9 year old brother to spy on me. FML
Today, my husband dropped me off at work, ten minutes later I got a text saying" I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said he "I dont know what youre talking about Megan". My name isnt Megan, not even close. FML
Aeen/
Ain VC/
Alina/
Asha/
Clara SBM /
Clara VC /
Dayah/
Euphorication/
Farain/
Ferra/
Fyda/
Howie/
Jia Jia/
Jocey/
Kin/
Mabs/
Mar/
Saf/
Sally/
Shar/
Simin/
Syadariena/
Syahidah/
Tien Yin/
Yvette/
Zue
Bascodes:detonatedlove♥
Overall: CRACKwhackk-
Bascodes:detonatedlove♥
Overall: CRACKwhackk-
Spot yourself
Aeen/ Ain VC/ Alina/ Asha/ Clara SBM / Clara VC / Dayah/ Euphorication/ Farain/ Ferra/ Fiona/ Fyda/ Howie/ Jia Jia/ Jocey/ Kin/ Mabs/ Mar/ Recyclofashion/ Saf/ Sally/ Shar/ Simin/ Syadariena/ Syahidah/ Tien Yin/ Yvette/ Zue
Back then when I was drunk
December 2007 / January 2008 / March 2008 / April 2008 / May 2008 / June 2008 / July 2008 / August 2008 / September 2008 / October 2008 / November 2008 / December 2008 / January 2009 / February 2009 / March 2009 / April 2009 / May 2009 / June 2009 / July 2009 / August 2009 /